I actually love email. It’s great that we have a standard and open protocol for sending and receving virtual mail. Without email we would be now probably using some closed-source proprierary and not interoperable solution witch locks you in. I’m glad it didn’t happen.
I will fight anyone who disagrees with the fact that email is the best protocol ever invented. It is perfect. Arbitrary text, file attachments, e2ee with gpg. It has zero downsides for most things. It’s just been destroyed by corpos :/
What about ip over avian carriers? I think it’s better 😅
But yes. Email is great. :3
Eh, it suffers from higher than useful packet loss and has absurdly high latency.
This memey post isn’t about Email as a concept, it’s about the state of commercial communication companies and the way we access having email.
Don’t worry. I get it. :3 I’m just adding another perspective to the discussion.
I as well like email, it just has to be managed. Then you threw in the alternative involved a solution with a witch locking me in, and I’m intrigued to know more.
“BONTO is selling your personal info to Google! Click this non-working link to opt out!”
Click here to unsubscribe. Great; it will take 4-10 days. It never unsubscribes.
Whenever a company does that, I never shop there again
If in EU: make a GDPR complaint. Unsubscribing should be instant and no more difficult than signing up
Can I use a VPN to permanently pretend I’m in the EU?
As far as most websites are concerned, yeah totally
BONTO! has had a security breach. Your data has been stolen. We’re sorry.
In my experience, you find out BONTO! had a security breach via an Ars Technica article published around 4 months after the fact because the data was found on the dark web. Zero correspondence from the company itself except in rare circumstances
Your privacy is very important to BONTO! Please give us permission to share your data with the following 465 companies
Please give us permission to share your data with the following 465 companies
Those are amateur numbers. No wonder BONTO is getting aquired and restructured. They need to get those privacy invasion numbers up!
Please log in to your account to opt out. Privacy settings in your account are unlocked between 1:00 and 1:30 GMT, and are accessed from a PS2 stored in the basement of the county office, behind the leopard.
Don’t worry about the data breach. They had already sold your data to everyone out there.
Have you ever gotten an email for a breach from the company that leaked your personal data? Haveibeenpwned.com is how I found out about my breaches.
What a coincidence! This is how I found out about your breaches, too
:O
BONTO! sucked anyhow. BONMO~ is the FOSS replacement that does everything better.
They’re looking for devs btw, which is why it’s been so long without an update or bug fixes.
Donate HERE.
This repository was archived by the owner on Jun 5, 2025. It is now read-only.
And if for some godforsaken reason you’re looking for help:
JOIN OUR DISCORD™ (whaddya mean you don’t wanna?)
*joins discord*
You say “Hey guys, I’m new to bonmo and was wondering why it doesn’t use traditional control-c and control-v for cut and paste? I think BRONTO! used the standard keys?”
*38 minutes later*
BONMASTER_420 says “first its called BONMO~ not bonmo and the answer is in the sauce we really dont have time to answer the questions of ever fukwit that joins the discord plus its not are job to explain why bronto did shit different tard fork it if you don’t like it shitbeqd”
*1hr 12 minutes later*
BleachAnime2012 says “Again with the ctrl-c/ctrl-v thing? Jesus christ learn how to use the search function would you guys? This has been discussed to death.”
BONMO~'s Kickstarter campaign turned out to be a scam, no refunds for existing investors, sowwy.
Anyway, now that the only alternative to BONTO! is dead, BONTO! merged with [weirdly popular social media company that you never paid attention to] and BONTO! is offering new subscription plans that give great deals if you pay for three years ahead of time for the low, low price of $450. Also, where will BONTO! be in 3 years? ¯\__(ツ)_/¯
You don’ hate email; you hate capitalism.
Yeah, use disposable mail adresses for registering
I love how almost every societal complaint or struggle can be traced back to the idea that there are a small number of people trying to take the money from a large number of other people for as unfair of an exchange as physically possible.
BONTO! Has been turned into a cube
Click here to unsubscribe to the cube
Meanwhile:
No, I don’t like e-mails, they’re all spam, I only have an account to register other accounts. Why can’t we continue our chat here on Natziapp (formerly known as Chatter)? Yes, I know, it’s full of nazis, and stuff, but if we convince him hard enough, he could change for the better.
Then 3 years later
Brooks, Herman and Anderson Law firm - Bonto data privacy class action lawsuit
Get your .0012¢ for a $7 processing fee!
That hasn’t been my experience. My portion of the settlement is usually about $100.00. it’s insulting, but it still spends.
I’m still waiting for my $13 from fuckerberg
bonto has settled and agreed to provide one year of credit monitoring
Actually no, I don’t remember when email was ever useful and I do remember dial-up internet 😂
It used to be chain emails “Send this to 10 other people or YOU’LL DIE” and people forwarding other people’s bad picture slideshows and even worse uplifting inspiring cards without looking at them, and now it’s automated slop.
“Send this to 10 other people or YOU’LL DIE”
And a lot of “I’m not superstitious BUT…” LOL
I almost miss how stupidly innocent the internet felt with that nutty stuff back then. Most chain letters were merely annoying social experiments rather than ultra nefarious like social media has become.
(Edit: lol just noticed a very similar take a few posts above me.)
“Flashing headlights at cars is a gang initiation to help them pick who to murder! Pass this along because it’s better safe than sorry!”
“Opening the wrong email might give you the Life is Beautiful virus that says ‘your life is no longer beautiful’ and wipes your hard drive! Tell everyone you know!”
(Ah, when an erased hard drive was the scariest malware one could think of…)
“Snd ths 2 15 ppl and push Alt+F4 and teh naem of ur crush will appear. (Zomgwtfbbq it rly works!!)”
“I’m a missionary in South Afrimericasia and I wanted to send this prayer chain around the entire world to prove something wholesome and also send money plz lol. Look, Sarah passed it on and her life turned around! The divine holy power of email!”
I had to spend a lot of time directing people I knew to a now-defunct site called “BreakTheChain” , and also Snopes. Usually the same people. Every time.
And sometimes they’d tell me “Well I forward it to you because you can tell me if it’s true or not.” I don’t miss that. Lmao
OMG I had forgotten the prayer chains from southwhatever missionaries 🤣 🤣 🤣
Those meme email chains were annoying at the time, but kinda endearing to look back on in retrospect.
I kept getting added onto ones my mum and dad were getting from a bunch of their friends that had people’s random corporate/work email addresses included and stuff…
It was a simpler time, when boomers hadn’t discovered social media yet, and were making their own fun without Facebook and without the algorithm.
If someone offered me a chance to magic social media away like it never happened, and the price I had to pay was unfunny memes spamming my inbox, it’s a price I’d pay gladly.
Those meme email chains were annoying at the time, but kinda endearing to look back on in retrospect.
I still cringe at the memory of the one time I forwarded one – it was something about Bill Gates, but I can’t remember the details. Anyway, my uncle replied back to me with something wholesome like
Nice to hear from you [mad_lentil], although I doubt this offer is genuine, you never know! Maybe we’ll all be rich this time next year. Say hi to your mom and dad for me, thanks.
It had never occurred to me that someone would lie on the internet rofffflllll. I was SO humiliated.
In college one of my friends wanted to show how easy it was to get an email chain going. He was on the student council so he wrote up something about if it was forwarded enough we would get another day off for spring break, added some email headers to look like he got it through 5 other people, then sent it to everyone on the student council. This was at a school with over 10k students.
By the end of the next day everyone I knew had gotten the email at least healf dozen times. The day after that the school paper had a story letting people know that it wasn’t true.
Yep, nobody lies on the internet.
Honestly though, that sorta thing should happen more often. It sounds like a great way to demonstrate how fast misinformation spreads, without actually hurting anyone.
Maybe some of those hit by that reality would think twice next time something sounds too good to be true.
For me the worst was the slideshow fad… So many people were making some and constantly sending them to ALL their contacts and forwarding those of other people making them and you kept receiving some of people who knew someone who knew someone you knew because of the forwarding… Since the last step came from people you knew, you couldn’t just block them, and if you didn’t answer every once in a while it was terribly rude… Also those butt ugly sparkling greeting cards 😬
Now spam is so common that it’s a perfect excuse, I just warn people that I don’t read email so don’t bother sending them 😂
But I agree on principle, the annoyances used to come from people who were over-enthusiastic over new technology like email, photo editing and such, and wanted to share it with everyone (willing or no). Or people who were having fun with chain emails (I might possibly have started a few on my school local network so I do understand… but to be fair no one used that network and its email system for anything else but email chains 😂 ). Now it’s all automated slop.
DO. NOT. SCROLL. A wiched curse has been placed upon you! You may only break this spell if you send it to 10 people immediately. NO SEND BACKS!
Your curse is absorbed by my face down “Curse Eater” card. I place the “Booby Anime School Girl” card face up in my playfield and end the turn.
Dark Magician Girl
In the late 90s there was a women’s magazine called Bust, and for some reason they’d also let you have a bust dot com email account if you wanted. You could email me at cleavage@bust.com, and those were creative fun days of the Internet.
ETA: it still exists as a quarterly internet magazine but it is NOTHING like it was, it was a great magazine.
- Someone has sent you a private messages on BONTO! But we won’t tell you what it says or you won’t go to the website.
Nextdoor. Freaking nextdoor is the absolute worst. I only have it because it’s a decent “local Intel” source because nobody talks to (or knows) each other in suburbia anymore.
But it shows you like the first 10 words of a post, and just opening the website on a phone practically locks the whole page with a “GeT tHe ApP!” Pop-up.
Know what? Yeah I should dump it. Save my mental health. Lol
Hint: it’s a private message from BONTO!-Bot offering you BONTO+! Premium Supreme! (It’s BONTO! with less ads)
The local school does this where you need an app to view their daily posts. You also get an preview sent to your email with the first 100 words or so and an link to their app.
Does their system know how to email to hundreds of users? Yes.
Could their messages be transmitted via text? Yes.
Could their messages be posted on a simple WordPress blog? Also yes.
Can I view their full messages on any platform independent device or web browser? No.
I’m so happy this site is still running.
It’s an enduring artifact of when the Internet was still fun.
Wtf is this lol
Its whatever you want it to be. The only limit is yourself.
Okay I reopened it with sound on lol makes more sense now
Oh, yeah, the voice is a big part of it. “Everything is possible with zombocom.”
"You can do anything you want at Zombocom…anything at all!
…the only limit…
…is yourself."
I felt that.
BONTO! will be deleting your data soon
Log into BONTO! to save your data
BONTO! will be deleting your data soon
BONTO! will be deleting your data soon
BONTO! has archived your data
Deleting your data for you. Their copy is theirs.
Photobucket moment.
BONTO! was sooo good. Like it really improved the Slorpiness.
No way! BONTO! was just the enshitfication of Slorp by a private equity firm.
<unwarranted rage No way, BONTO! sucked. You couldn’t even Slorp your entire friends list anymore, and they added all of those BONTOgrams for no reason. We disagree on a topic, so I despise you now and your entire genetic line. </rage
But you should really try NeWSlarP, a FLOSS fork of Slorp by the original developer that brings back both SlorpTokens and Schlarpmänner!
<unwarranted rage No way…
… </rage
This is the wildest syntax I’ve ever seen! At first, I thought it was unparsable nonsense. Then I realized that your tags are capital-letter-terminated. Is this from a language I don’t know or have you unwittingly cooked up a piece of a cursed programming language? If the latter, I propose Slorp as its name.
Closing
for the tag is left as an exercise for the reader.
unwarrantedis a property of theragetag (the properties are declared before the tag name)This… This isn’t something you can actually do in HTML is it? I’ve been doing web development for years and I feel like I’m about to learn some horrifically cursed knowledge…
Nope, it’s a CHTML extension. C for cursed, although that’s redundant.
HTML goes <br>
HTML goes <br>
I’m not sure if that’s a “machine goes brrrrrr” joke or not. If it is, it’s brilliant. XD
oh thank fuck
Closing
for the tag is left as an exercise for the reader.Lmao that’s great
The real answer is that when I closed the tags, they didn’t show up in the comment. So I left them open, because it looked utterly ridiculous. But I like your interpretation way better!
Probably needed to escape them with \
Your end tag for rage is the wrong way and I do hate you and your entire genetic line now
Are we just turning into the bug aliens from Rick and Morty?
I prefer Slurm, myself.
You jest but…
Enshittification never sleeps, stealing all ideas that it can possibly get away with!
As a top 1% graaaaj user, I always felt bad for you guys. You should migrate to graaaaj, we have asparagus!
