BONTO! will be deleting your data soon

Log into BONTO! to save your data

BONTO! will be deleting your data soon

BONTO! will be deleting your data soon

BONTO! has archived your data

I’m on that low% speedrun

I feel like it’s probably worse than this. It should start with “I read about this thing called ‘choking to death’”.

Or better yet, take out “choking to death” (which can happen) and insert some made-up bullshit like “choking so hard your eyeballs pop out”.