I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

  • andrewta@lemmy.world
    2·
    17 days ago

    First : sorry you are going through this.

    Second : yes most guys won’t get the support they need. It sucks.

    Third : yes you have shitty people around you

    The people who you thought were your friends aren’t. Forget about them. Forget they exist. They aren’t worth your time.

    Figure out what you like to do and join a club or group and move forward. Not just get over it. In that new group look for support there. Look for better friends there.

  • Cocopanda@lemmy.world
    11·
    15 days ago

    Bro. We’re men. No one cares about us or our feelings. When you come to grips with that. You can explore more self healing directions to go. No one wants to hear about our problems. Also. Your friends are not friends. Find new people if you can.

    Trust me. After my ex cheated on me and left me. I felt like death for years.

    BUT! It definitely will get better one morning. Just keep your chin up. Brush off the anxiety and go out and see the world.

  • starlinguk@lemmy.world
    0·
    15 days ago

    Same here. My ex husband told everyone that I cheated on him. I mean, considering the fact that nobody ever asked for my side of the story, I suppose they weren’t really friends anyway.

    • rabber@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      01·
      15 days ago

      I told everyone she cheated on me too which backfired amazingly lol

      She told everyone I requested an open relationship so it didn’t count

      Master manipulator

      • blarghly@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        15 days ago

        I mean, basically you failed to cultivate deep and meaningful relationships with other people is the problem. Did you ever open up to your friends about anything before your break up? Did they ever open up to you, or come to you with their problems? Did you have friends who were “your friends” who you often hung out with while she didn’t?

        I’m a guy. I have male friends. I would support them in an instant if they were going through a breakup. I would expect my male friends (and my female friends) to do the same. Is this rare or weird? I dunno. I’m just me. I don’t have experience living anyone else’s life. But I’d recommend finding some friends who can form a support network for you whether or not it is “normal”. If it’s normal, be normal. If it isn’t, fuck being normal. Go be weird.