I was supposed to be childfree. I have c-ptsd from childhood, like my guardian did prison time for how bad of a parent they were.

Of course, I had no support from family as a young adult and found myself in a DV situation at 23. He never hit me, but did all the other standard abusive things. I tried leaving him around the three month mark, but it took me 3 years.

He was hell bent on having a baby. He wouldn’t let me on birth control, nor could I afford it anyway, so we used the oull out method. Until he’d pin me down and just, rape me. My son is my third pregnancy. The first two I was able to discreetly taken care of, by the third pregnancy from this man in a year, I felt guilt, and didnt have the freedom to even go to the doctors on my own. So I kept him.

Got free for real when my son was 14 months old. I dont deal with his father at all. No child support, once he lost control of me it was apparent he wanted nothing to do with the baby he had to have so badly.

My son is 12, with severe adhd and odd, mild conduct disorder.

Ive dedicated my life (giving up my career) to helping my son navigate his emotions and express them in a healthy way so we don’t repeat the patterns of, nearly every male in my and his bloodline. I’m thankful for the behaviorial health field of study.

Sometimes I feel like my kid’s father still has me trapped, especially on bad days. I wont discuss what regrets I have, we just move forward and do better tomorrow than today.

I sure as fuck am not abandoning my kid to the wolves as my family did to me. I wanted to break the cycle the easy way and just not habe kids, instead, I’m doing it the hard way and idk. Im doing it. I love my kid, hes a good kid.

I wouldn’t be shocked your mother is processing shame/guilt in this comment she made.

I’ve always tried to remain curious and open minded in my life. Do you know what I didn’t expect coming into motherhood? Needing to learn how to segregate my sense of self from my kid’s.

It was instinctual to feel my child’s embarrassment/guilt/pain as my own, or as a reflection apon me. While some actions kids make are a reflection of parenting, some are not. It’s hard to distinguish in the early years, I imagine it carried through the life stages if not adressed. Basically it’s learning to see a literal dna extension of yourself as their own being. Your mom caught some adrenaline from hearing you’re feeling depressed or she wouldn’t have said something so emotional and targeted.

I bet she’s overwhelmed and clearly doesn’t have the coping. Don’t take it personally, like, don’t internalize that shit. She too, her own person, and you didn’t ask for this. Feel free to keep your distance from her for a time. If you feel comfortable when you’re both in better headspace, tell her what she said hurt your feelings.

If she responds poorly, well mom’s a shit head and now you know it. If she responds kindly and apologizes, you’ve ground to work with.

I haven’t talked to my mom in 15 years, she responded poorly.

I hope you feel better, I’m glad you’re here today. Take care

Hey me too.

I joined the Dems for Bernie. Nearly ten years later nothing good has come of it.

If they prop of AOC I will consider it, but I’d rather we have more parties. To only have two is absurd

I’d guess young women do this kind of thing more frequently than women whose prefrontal cortex is fully developed.

Some people put expectations on what they want, and then get confused where they can’t find it. Live life with no expectations, and you’re less likely to get disappointed.

This absolutely. I’m a 5’1" lady, and I do like my partner to be taller than me, but basically everyone is taller than me.

If you lined up every man I’ve dated over my lifetime, you’d see men from 5’2" to 6’4".

The right people are there for the person, not shallow bullshit. Hygiene is the best indicator, yes. Good hygiene, nice person, you’ll find success.

When my now husband told me he was 6’3" my jaw dropped. Sure I was happy (he can reach the top shelf for me) but I seriously wouldn’t have batted an eye if he was shorter

Date kind people, not shallow cunts and you should be okay.

I dated one guy who told me he was 5’10". He was kind of a cunt. He was actually 5’7". It just showcased his insecurity. I didn’t like that. Wear yourself with pride. No one choses to be short/tall. Accept yourself and others will too.

As a mother I don’t really care for mothers day either. Nor do I care for Valentine’s day.

I am a mother everyday, and I love my husband everyday, I don’t need a capitalistic holiday that requires spending money to celebrate this.

I’ll take the cake on mother’s day, but mostly it’s for my kid and husband feel good for doing something, not because I expect it. Corpo holidays can fuck off wirh their expectations, yes

Thank you for saying this. You’re absolutely right. I posted this with fear in my heart this morning.

Thank you to you and everyone here for helping me keep strong.

It doesn’t matter if he’s the one being taken away or not, he could still witness it, I could still traumatize him. He could try and fight one of the officers, because my son has no sense of fear and an inflated sense of justice often. These are his friends and classmates.

Trump is tageting the neighboring town for having a trans athlete. Last week, my town was pointed out for being a sanctuary city. Compiling fear.

Trauma doesn’t make a person stronger. Trauma doesn’t guarantee radicalization.

Thank you for pointing this out to this commenter.

Love it, thank you.

Im so glad there was a place to vent my worries today. Y’all are awesome.

Yeah, after the initial shock this morning it’s easy to understand this is fear mongering. My state is fighting it.

We are long standing Americans, we are at minimum fourth gen, to basically English settlers depending at what grandparent you look at- but it’s still terrifying.

These are his friends, his classmates, mostly puerto rican… but… no one should live in fear.

Me too. We shouldn’t have to live like this. No one should live in fear, yet so many do across the earth. We gotta support eachother now more than ever

I agree no younger than 13.

Knowing my son, it wont be until highschool for us, at the earliest. A middle school boy showed my son how to look up naughty words on Spotify/the internet. So, big nope from me.

We do limited supervised access only for educational purposes. The internet is a tool, and my child dont need that in his pocket.

I/we have never felt social pressure to get him a phone. He’s today 12. He makes friends everywhere he goes. Right now in this life stage I have a focus on teaching internet safety, how marketing works, and how to spot reputable/non reputable resources.

You don’t have to own a phone to learn how to use it properly. I didn’t own my own computer as I learned to use one as a kid.

Supervised access exists, and parents are responsible for teaching internet safety to children.

Your college experience is a you thing. My much younger BIL did his first year at college this year, and thanked his parents for not letting him have a lot of screen time growing up because he can see the addiction in the people around him.

…the plot thickens lol

That’s messed up. I can’t stand people who lie, I’m mad for you

I cook four portions, my husband has a portion, I have one too, my son then eats two portions and says he’s still hungry.

You can’t meal prep with pre-teens/teens in the house. This kid will eat leftover roast chicken for breakfast, like the whole damn thing.

I cry while grocery shopping and pray to saint peanut butter for help