I was a Big Boy when this came in the scene, but I still fucked around with it.

Shout-out to my youth dentist that had a Galaxian cocktail table set to free play. I always liked forward to my checkups.

My dad used me as an excuse to rebuild the unfinished basement and build out the Lionel train set he’d always wanted.

Shortly thereafter he decided he could no longer tolerate his wife and moved in with his mistress full time. He built out a room just for me, but I knew Mom would off herself if I abandoned her. Plus I was smoking by then and Dad hit me whenever I smelled like smoke.

It was a nice train table until a pipe burst and flooded the basement. Don’t buy particle board furniture. It becomes pulp as soon as it gets slightly damp .

The Nazis already have control of the moon and Antarctica, so that’s a no-go.

You just reminded me of why Y2K era nostalgia makes me ill.

I was working part time in a mall and heard all this shit on repeat, and my co-workers were quoting The Chappelle Show because it was ok to be racist if a black guy said it first.