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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • Gym membership where I live is cheap. Like it would take years of monthly gym payments to equal the cost of a good set of weights and stuff to work out with. Husband has a lot of free weights so I do lift at home but do yoga at a studio, and when I did use the gym, I took aerobic dance classes, did stairmaster and watched people lift weights, used machines and lifted weights myself and didn’t have to take up half the bedroom with weights.

    I personally enjoy going someplace to work out a lot more than doing it at home, but I do both.

    Clothes don’t matter, don’t you have any loose shorts? That’s what I see guys wearing at the gym, they are probably like $5 at Walmart.

    ETA: on your actual question yes home workout can be effective, of course. Plenty of people do fine just going out for a run and doing some pushups, pullups, unweighted squats, planks, etc; and yes I enjoy more going to the gym, and once there, will work out - at home always something else needs to be done and it’s harder to focus.







  • I like how the standard has fractured and there isn’t really a standard now, but I do also kind of like the obviously fake bodies being the standard because an insistence on natural beauty is more oppressive than the idea of beauty as something you do, an art or achievement, even a purchase.

    If beauty like that is something you choose, I am free to choose it or not. If it’s just by luck of birth, that sucks so bad. When I was a gawky tall stick insect of a teenager and the only girls considered pretty were the short and stacked, there was no way to meet that standard.

    Later the tide shifted but as I didn’t grow up feeling my body could ever be mainstream sexy, I didn’t get attached to that - I do have hangups but they are my own. I just try to stay in shape, have good hair, take care of my skin and let the rest be.

    But I think my unpopular opinion is beauty as something you do - makeup, style, fitness, is more democratic than insistence on symmetry of features or a particular height or build, the idea of “natural beauty” is worse. Beauty should be a choice, a hobby, a project, do or not.

    In terms of what I do not currently understand, it’s the moustaches. Young men with weedy little moustaches, straight men with moustaches that scream gay to me, the unopposed highway patrol/1980s gay man moustache I can’t wait for that trend to pass.


  • This happens to us - if I cook dinner for everyone, two of us eat, if I cook dinner for two of us, everyone wants to eat. If I make enough for leftovers, nobody takes them to lunch. If I don’t make enough, they ask why there is not enough for lunch.

    Things that help on your question though -

    Canned beans, canned tomatoes, canned coconut milk, canned pumpkin, jarred spaghetti sauce, spices - a lot of our staples are not perishable.

    Do you live where you can stop by the store on the way home? Then don’t buy perishables for the week, buy them for the meal you are making.

    Some foods and meals freeze pretty well, freeze them and keep a list of what’s in the freezer so you remember to eat it.

    I hate meal planning but it helps a lot. I sometimes put a note on the fridge “we have food for dal with spinach, chicken & cabbage, sheet pan gnocchi with sausage and broccoli, eggs and potatoes” or whatever we have the food to make, and cross them off as they are made.

    Some foods make other foods. So if I make a hunk of pork, it’s pork, rice and beans then enchiladas then burritos, and so on.








  • I don’t think you are crazy for not wanting to drive, but don’t think it’s a good idea to quit because of the accident, either. Your dad is right, everyone does get on an accident eventually. I had a very bad one that totalled my car (someone ran a stop sign) and the trauma made me a bad driver for awhile, so watch out for that. But getting back behind the wheel, overcoming your fear and becoming a competent and comfortable driver is a life skill that will help you, even if you decide that you don’t want to have a car. The life skill of getting back in the saddle after a fall (metaphorically speaking) is an even more important life skill. But driving in particular really is helpful - I mostly bike now, but being able to drive well comes in handy at least weekly.




  • You are in Dallas? The main redeeming quality of Texas is the music. I wholeheartedly agree with this suggestion.

    Also going out to the same places at the same time can pay off, you will make acquaintances and some may become friends. I see a group of old guys at the cafe I go to for coffee, pretty sure they are only friends because they go get breakfast at the Cuban place and ended up talking and sitting together.

    I will say though, almost all my friends I met as adult came from work or from them going out with someone in my family. The medium level friends you are probably looking for. Do you not have work?